Are you playing small?
How to truly let your light shine and give others permission to do the same.

Leadership Lessons from My New Dance Class.

For a number of years I have dreamed of participating in a regular dance class. There were all sorts of “valid” reasons why I didn’t:

- there wasn’t a class close by, 
- I wouldn’t know where to look, 
- I didn’t want to interfere with my work hours, 
- I don’t like exercising at night because I’m generally tired… all very logical, right?

However, if I’m completely honest, the real reason why I didn’t want to start a dance class is because:

- I was afraid I wouldn’t be any good (it has been a long time since I did anything co-ordinated), 
- I might hold the others in the class up if I’m slow 
- I might feel embarrassed and ridiculous

(Can you relate?)

As “luck” would have it, a Mum at my daughter’s school runs a dance school and I asked her if they had an adult beginners jazz class. She said a couple of Mums had asked her, and she would start one. I said I would encourage others to come along so we had a few people. (Brilliant manifesting, Stephanie!)

I was nervous for the first class, not knowing what to expect, and wanted to stay in the comfortable confines of my home! 
But given I had asked and said I would (and wanted to dance!) - I went along.

I was self conscious in the first couple of weeks. I was slower than a couple of the others to pick up the steps, and co-ordinating my body parts really stretched my brain (in a good way!)

I paid for the term of classes to make sure I kept coming back. As the weeks rolled by, I became to learn many of the steps and sequences we repeated. They became more automatic as my brain created the new neural pathways with practice.

The other participants stopped coming and I ended up having 5 classes on my own. I asked her I could choose the song for our next routine. I got better and better and my confidence picked up.

Here’s the dance I learned over the 5 weeks... (unedited - taken with my iphone - I never intended to share it when I took it!)

I’m always looking for gentle ways to develop myself.

So in the interests of overcoming my self-consciousness, I shared this video on my Facebook page, and I was a little overwhelmed at the response.

So many people were inspired by my courage to have a go, and vowed to take up a dance class themselves too.
(Dancing is SUCH a high vibrational activity by the way, and SO good for our brain AND body - that’s another blog post topic for another day).

School holidays came and went, and in the new term, the class resumed.
A new person joined the class.  A beginner, like me.

** I noticed that I was reticent to look too confident or competent.

** I wanted to "dumb myself down" so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

** I wanted to "dumb myself down" so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable! 

Why is this?

At school I was sometimes given a hard time by other students for being “too smart” - teased and even smacked across the head in class a couple of time when I was 15 from a jealous peer. It still impacts me almost 30 years later. In Australia we call it the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” and it is alive and well. It’s a big component of our (my) fear of success.

Back to the dance class...
I reassured the beginning dance student - "I was very slow at the beginning, you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll improve over a short period of time."

As the class went on, I was aware of how I was behaving and I remembered that I wasn’t responsible for her feelings, only mine, and I should dance as well as I could, for me.

My lesson from the response to posting this video on my Facebook is that it’s important for you to allow yourself to shine. Because as Marianne Williamson says in my favourite poem:

“Our Deepest Fear"

by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? 
You are a child of God.
Your playing small 
Does not serve the world. 
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, 
As children do. 
We were born to make manifest 
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; 
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, 
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 
As we're liberated from our own fear, 
Our presence automatically liberates others.  

Beautiful words, aren't they?
(I have this on my office wall to remind me every day.)

Yes, there may be some people who are intimidated or put off by you being a leader - sharing your genius - and building wealth!
BUT the vast majority will be inspired. 

One of the biggest causes of unhappiness in the Western World is the constant comparison of ourselves with others.

We have a desperate need to belong - in fact, it is one of the core human survival needs.

And in order to belong, we often conform to be just like everyone else. This does serve us in many ways. 
Standing out can lead to rejection - a concept we learned in kindergarten, if not earlier.

As humans, we are tribal beings are we are largely dependent on our tribe for survival. We all possess a primal instinct to follow the rules and stay safe. 

But for many of us (including you - otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this), it’s time for us to lead the way. To shine and give others permission to do the same.
To be successful - and wealthy

But what about when it feels so scary?

Here are my five top tips for letting your light shine and leading the way…

1) Observe when and where you might be playing small.
Just as I did in my dance class, I noticed that I was playing small. I also notice where I’m doing it in my business, and ask myself what I can do differently.

2) Hold steady with your vision.
Maintain strength in the vision of where you are going. It may not happen this month or this year, but know that you are destined for great things, and allow the Universe to take you there. (If you need help with clarifying your purpose and vision, please let me know!)

3) Move forward at a comfortable pace. 
After noticing where you might be playing small, the next step is to ask yourself what you’d like to be doing differently to embrace your purpose as a leader. I encourage you to move forward at a pace you can manage. Small, consistent steps are better for most of us than giant leaps that we can’t sustain.

4) Ask for support from "Above"
I believe that conscious connection to the Universe is fundamental to our success. I regularly pray and ask the Divine for courage and protection in order to assist me on my path to leadership. I also specifically ask Archangel Gabriel, the messenger angel, to help me spread my message. I call upon Archangel Michael to protect me from any negative influences, and Archangel Raphael for any healing I may need - and to help me to attract abundance.

5) Invite "earthly" support
Please don't try and work alone. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who see the real you and encourage you to shine. Consider professional support too. There is no way I would be where I am without my coaches and healers I’ve had along the way. And I continue to work with support people who are truly there for me, because I still have a long way to go.
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If you’d like to book a session with me to uncover how and where you might be playing small in your life, and create a plan that feels really manageable to move forward with and step into your true leadership role, I would love to help!  
Here’s the link to book.

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About the Author
Stephanie Kakris is one of Australia’s leading mindset experts.
She has a Masters in Sport Psychology and 20 years experience assisting people to reach their potential.
She combines her extensive experience in mindset, emotional intelligence and the science behind the Law of Attraction to offer powerful transformation for her clients.
Her coaching and mentoring packages focus on changing from within, which boosts external results and rewards.
She is especially passionate about money mindset - she has spent many years learning and applying various techniques to master wealth for herself, and now she shares what she has learned to help others to build wealth and abundance.
To book a session with Stephanie, click here.